Jeff and Brenda’s campaign to get us to join them on Donut Day worked. Here we are, rafted up in Judd Bay debating how much breakfast to eat. It’s like Thanksgiving morning. Do you want to eat a lot and stretch out your stomach? Or do you just eat a little and save space for the main course?
As the four of us lazily pick at our scrambled eggs, too excited for morning sugar to eat anything healthy, Jeff knocks on the hull. “So the wind shifted over night and the only thing holding these three boats in place is the kedged out anchor. We should probably break up the raft and re-anchor.” While I am pretty stoked that the anchor, with mostly line instead of chain, is holding all of us, we realize that if the wind picks up, it won’t hold for long. We promise to hurry up and finish our breakfast, or at least our coffee and that we’ll be out shortly.
Approximately five minutes later, Jeff informs us that we are dragging the anchor. Suddenly the boat is a flurry of activity as we stow dishes, start the engine, and prepare to break up the raft. This was NOT in the plans for Donut Day! With only 40 minutes until the opening of the market there was no time to lose. The entire process took way longer than any of us wanted. The donuts would certainly be gone by the time we finished anchoring.
Safely re-anchored, we held out hope and put Zubie in high gear. With only 14 minutes until the market opened it was probably 16 minutes until the donuts would certainly sell out. Maybe there would be some crumbs that we could squish together into a donut shape. Maybe some kind stranger would see the sorrow in our eyes and take pity on us, sharing the last donut with us. Maybe the Donut Lady had a gut feeling that a herd of sailors were headed her way this weekend and she made extra.
The anticipation was killing me as we walked through the market. Partially because there were donuts to be consumed, but also because a challenge had been made. During Jeff and Brenda’s campaign, they mentioned that one donut would fill you up for the rest of the day. Somehow, that turned into Craig saying that he could eat one of each variety for a total of three donuts in one sitting. I have a hard time getting Craig to eat two pieces of chocolate in one sitting, so I was shocked that he would even consider eating this much sugar coated fried dough at one meal. But I have seen him eat two giant dinners in a row, so I know that his tapeworm (named Karl) is alive and well.
Well, we found the Donut Lady and she was in shock when she heard about the challenge. She didn’t say it out loud, but her eyes said, “You’re fucking crazy, kid! There’s no way someone that skinny can eat more than one of my donuts.” She did offer a prize of a free donut if he won the challenge. Game on.
We found a picnic table and Craig got serious. He started with the maple bar topped with candied bacon. Getting the biggest one out of the way was his strategy. Second came the chocolate glazed with sprinkles. After two donuts he was feeling rather confident. Even half way through the old fashioned with sour cream glaze, he thought he had it in the bag. If any of you have had the pleasure of dining with Craig, you know that it is a messy affair. These donuts were no exception. I ran back to the Donut Lady to get more napkins and heard her tell someone, “There’s a tall skinny guy over there trying to eat three donuts!” I pointed to our table incase anyone wanted to observe the feat of gluttony.
Suddenly, with only a quarter of a donut left, Craig’s stomach and Karl started to object. His brow was glistening and there was doubt in his eyes. Jeff started to make gagging noises in an attempt to throw Craig off his game, but it was to no avail. Even though the last several bites took longer than the entire first donut, Craig won the challenge.
The Donut Lady, also known as Jami from Sugar Baby Specialty Cakes, was simultaneously impressed and disgusted. She didn’t say she was disgusted, but I could tell. Otherwise I was projecting. Either way, she held up her end of the bargain and Craig got another donut. In reality, I got the donut and saved it for breakfast the next day because Craig did not want to see any form of sugar for at least a week. In fact, he made us leave the market so he didn’t have to smell the sugar.
For the remainder of the day, Craig was a walking sugar coma. He was slightly cranky, but mostly he was in a daze. After provisioning, Craig and I headed back to the boat to put away the groceries. While Craig’s body rejected the gut bomb, Emily and Lucas explored Indian Island. I did a lot of mouth breathing with a clothespin on my nose. I think it’s safe to say- Craig won the challenge, but lost the day.
For the remainder of the day we mostly walked around town, hunted for sea glass on Crescent Beach, gorged on blackberries, and lazed around in a park. Not a bad day.
2 thoughts on “Zero Sleeps ‘til Donut Day!”
I hope Craig gets a fat ass. xoxo
craig’s training for this “feat of gluttony” began when he was in junior high school — at “golden corral,” where he was known to be able to eat (with barely a break to take a breath) from their bounteous buffet for a solid hour at a time!