I can see it in their eyes. When I explain to people that we live on a boat, we’ve quit our jobs, and are cruising around, they get this look in their eye as they zone out and envision what my life looks like. They see lazy days spent in the sun aboard a fancy yacht while our wardrobe varies between swimsuits and nautical striped polos and khaki shorts. They see movie style sailing montages with cocktails and hair that is somehow styled despite the wind.

Most of the time I don’t have the energy to burst their bubble. But today I do. Because I wish someone had told me that it isn’t all sun tans and daquiris. And I’m not saying I don’t enjoy looking like I’ve jumped out of a Sperry catalog, I’m just saying I’m a mess and generally look disheveled at best.

If I’m being totally honest, I probably wouldn’t have listened to anyone who tried to give me honest insight into this lifestyle because I’m stubborn and it’s not easy to be hard-headed when you listen to advice. How can I possibly be determined if I let other people change my mind? Makes sense, doesn’t it?

Since leaving Seattle, and especially San Francisco, my definition of luxury has experienced a swift and severe evolution. To give you a bit more insight into the life I lead, I’ve made another list for you which consists of some of the things that are now considered to be a luxury.

• Unlimited electricity
• Single seater public potties
• Internet
• Ordering a drink at Starbucks instead of using them for their free internet
• Showers
• Washing my hair with good water pressure
• Styling my hair
• Shaving my legs
• Cell phone coverage
• Laundry
• Clean clothes that don’t smell a bit like mildew and diesel
• Ice cream
• Tap water
• The news
• Quiet
• Not caring about the weather
• Solid ground
• Range/mobility – without cars, we generally don’t stray too far from where the dinghy lands.
• 911 services
• Square feet in the place you spend most of your time
• Cupboards and cabinets that are not constantly getting moldy
• Health insurance and my family practitioner
• Grocery shopping without thinking about the weight of all of it since you have to walk a mile and a half back to the dinghy and then fit it all into the dinghy – and then you have to peel the labels, scrub off glue, take everything out of cardboard boxes…. Basically, getting groceries is an all-day event. And for someone who likes things to be efficient, it fucking kills me.
• Getting anything mailed to our current location.
• Security – while in Santa Barbara, we had some folks warn us that stuff might get stolen from the boat while we were ashore so we should make sure to lock everything up. Feeling like people were going to come onto the boat made me not want to leave and it made me question every sound while I was trying to sleep. And the dinghy is an entire stress point of its own. Are we allowed to lock it to a dock? If not, what stops anyone from just leaving in it? When we have to beach it, she feels even more vulnerable. (Is there lowjack for dinghies?)
• Whistling
• Hot tubs – Anna and Elia spoiled me.

You probably think I’m complaining, but I’m not. Not much. That’s a lie. I’m totally complaining. Because change is hard and I was totally comfortable in a land based life. Knowing things are going to change isn’t the same as experiencing the change and this is a lot of change. My friends who are further south seem to be enjoying the change a bit more, but maybe that’s because they aren’t wearing onesies and their giant strawberry margaritas are only $1.50. I bet a bunch of those would help me feel better about almost anything.

Beer Bulletin with Captain Craig as Translated by the Admiral

Brew: Tasty Waves Amber Ale

Brewery: Santa Barbara Brewing Company

Summary: It was our last evening ashore and we had found the Santa Barbara Brewing Company. Sign us up; we’re ready to drink. We generally aim for the bar area when we don’t plan on buying food because K was a server and she tells me that you’re not supposed to hog a table just to order a round of beers. As we sidle up to the bar, we realize that the oasis of empty chairs towards the end were vacant for two very good reasons. Two very drunk reasons. As it turns out, these former employees had a little too much to drink. And by a little too much, I mean they were literally throwing away $100 bills, hugging the bartender, and getting kicked out. As the evening progressed, we continued to move seats to get a better view of the NCAA March Madness tournament. KU was playing and so was U of A – what luck! There was even a retired couple, clearly KU fans as indicated by the bedazzled Jayhawk swag, cheering for their team. (Tim and Donna – I’ve seen your future.) Kathy and Steven recommend the margaritas and also let us know that it’s okay to hate each other once in a while.

After the bartender gave us a free pizza that a drunk couple purchased and then failed to consume (I think they misunderstood dine and dash…), we ordered another round. As we enjoyed free pizza and tasty brew, the guy down the bar decided to hijack the bartender’s phone to call 911 and request an “aid unit” be sent to the bar as if it were an Uber. The bartender found out about it when the 911 operator called back and asked that he make sure the guy was okay. He was fine… just a sore shoulder… sitting on the bench outside. It went on and on. We were the sanest people at that bar top by a longshot. And probably the most sober.

But the beer was delightful as paired with a refrigerated margherita pizza. It really helped me deal with watching UA do what it does best – blow a good seed.

Bottom Line: Good beer and a free show