Apparently, at the end of every trip we take on this boat I struggle to write the final summary blog. Probably because I’m lazy too exhausted to think straight. Or maybe because I’m sure that everyone is over it and is tired of hearing about it. More likely because I have no idea how to sum it all up in a way that makes sense or even comes close to conveying the experience. I’m quite sure that you’re all very smart people – despite what bell curves might imply. But explaining some things is nearly futile if the audience hasn’t experienced it themselves. It’s quite literally impossible to understand some things that other people do if you yourself have not done the same thing. Like being a parent. Or tripping on ‘shrooms. Or summiting Everest. Or being in space. Or voting for Trump. You could write a speech, or a book, or a power point, or perform an interpretive dance and I’m never gonna really understand what it is like to experience any of these. Especially that last one.

So to try and explain what it feels like to sail under the Golden Gate bridge at sunset after a 10-day voyage and over 3 years of preparing, it’s more than a little daunting. Because even though I can tell you what happened, I still want you to understand more than that. More than the timeline of events, more than what the underside of The Bridge looked like, more than the mundane senses can convey. I want you to know that all four of us likely felt something very different, even though we were all right next to each other. I think I want to explain it to you because even though it has been several weeks, I find that I can’t even describe how I felt (or how I still feel) to myself. Therefore, I give up. At least for now.

Beth and Cody left this morning. Or at least they left the morning I started writing this entry. I’m (still) rather upset about it. The boat feels empty, despite the continued state of chaos and mounting pile of laundry. As soon as they left, I went back to bed and slept ‘til noon in an attempt to pretend that it wasn’t happening. Unfortunately, they were not back aboard Small World when I awoke and now I am just sitting here wondering what to do. I mean, I know some things that need to get done like laundry, groceries, tidying/organizing, trying to find odd jobs to earn money, yadda yadda yadda. But it’s just so strange that I don’t really have to hurry up and get any of that done.

For the first time, there’s no looming deadline. No work on Monday, no road trip, no end-of-moorage date, no weather window, no nothing dictating the pace.

C: So are you having any fun yet?

K: I don’t know if “fun” is the right word…

C: …Are you enjoying yourself?

K: I think in order for any of that to be true, I have to start believing that this is really my life.

I’m starting to wonder if any of this will ever truly set in. Will I ever believe that we sailed from Seattle to San Francisco? Will I ever feel like this is reality? Wait… is this reality? These are serious questions so let me know if you have any answers. I haven’t found any yet.

To be fair, that conversation with Craig happened right after we arrived. So I have had some fun and enjoyed myself since then. I still find that none of this has sunk in yet. My entire life feels like an out of body experience. Is this what it felt like to play SIMS? Or play in one of those virtual reality games? Anyone else excited for the Ready Player One movie adaptation? I digress… But for now, I am enjoying seeing friends and taking some time to settle. Thinking about leaving is honestly a little weird. We just spent a metric shit ton of money and effort to get here. Why leave so soon? Sure there’s more to see out there. But there’s more to see here. There’s more to see in Seattle and I was there for eight years. I’m finally realizing why people get to Mexico and then stay. Leaving is hard.

Every time you get to a new destination, there are similar routines to go through. Find the Wi-Fi, find the groceries, find the supply store to fix everything that’s broken, find some people who you can share some laughs with. But the routine is exhausting. And I haven’t even done it very many times. I always thought that the people who stopped in Mexico were crazy. There’s so much more to see past there. The tropics! French Polynesia! Southeast Asia! My god. Bora Bora. How could you just stop before getting to some of those locations?? I finally get it. And I’m not even in Mexico yet.

For now, our plan is to avoid too much planning and just enjoy the ride. I solemnly swear that I will update you if/when we make a plan. Scouts honor.

OHHHHH! Before jumping into the photos, I want to give a shout-out to the ladies of Crust Pies/Market Kitchen. They are amazing and their shared kitchen space saved a portion of my sanity in the days leading up to the big trip. I cannot recommend them enough. Beth and I were able to make 11 recipes in an evening and then deep freeze them for a couple days. This meant that during our trip, no one had to chop/prep the recipes while already feeling sick. Being able to throw a casserole in the oven made meals incredibly easy and far less daunting. I’m quite sure that I would’ve just existed on saltines and spoonfuls of peanut butter and protein bars otherwise. So if you are thinking going offshore, I would suggest thinking about prepping a bunch of meals in advance. If you don’t have access to a huge kitchen and want to avoid trying to avoid losing your mind in a tiny boat galley, I recommend this place. I also HIGHLY recommend finding them at a farmer’s market where they sell their pies and consuming as many of their tomato basil hand pies as possible. I’ve been craving them consistently ever since I tried them and immediately regretted having only one. I’m considering having them send me a care package… but I haven’t figured out how to hide the rest of them so Craig doesn’t eat them.

As Beth’s dad calls it, “flipping the switch” while prepping the meals. Coffee to wine!

This is what I had hoped the crossing would be like.

The Bridge.

THE Big Left Turn

Literally no idea where this was taken.

All of the meals prepped and frozen.

BLTs for the Big Left Turn. Get it?

Highly recommend.

We’re a racing boat. Look at us go!

Deck showers for everyone!

I owe Tony some beers for these photos! Thanks, buddy!

Proof for Brenda that I actually did wear my bikini on the passage

Don’t we look good for one shower in ten days?

This is mostly what the crossing was like.

The most stoic.

All the layers.

Celebrating survival in style.

Aiming for The Bridge.

We came so close to seeing Megan!

MEGAN! We saw Nautilus!

Cody at sunset.

Always checking the weather.

The best sunrise of the trip.

When it’s night and the GPS screen is too bright, even in night mode.

Before leaving sight of land.

I owe Tony some beers for these photos! Thanks, buddy!

Red lights at night to maintain night-vision. They’re probably talking about the weather. Seriously.

I owe Tony some beers for these photos! Thanks, buddy!

Beth made sure I didn’t back the boat up into the island or over a piling the may have been underwater.

One of the few meals they ate out of dishes other than mugs.